I’ve been on such an incredible journey this year, a journey of a lot of tears, a lot of heartache, laughs, adventures and lots of growth. An immense amount of self awareness and a lot of eye openers. I talk less and I trust very few. Not because I’ve been burned, I have been but that’s not why I’m more cautious, I talk less because I listen more and I watch even more. I have a lack of trust with those I encounter in my everyday life because I’ve noticed when I’m busy listening and watching, others are busy talking about doing this and doing that. There is nothing wrong with this, nothing at all, what I’ve noticed is wrong is there seem to be more people out there in this world that do just that, talk. I see it everywhere I go with almost everyone I encounter. Just walk into a store and ask for help and watch the excuses come out because the person you asked doesn’t know the answer and you’re left with some bullshit answer that you could have came up with yourself.
Everyone remembers that saying “actions speak louder than words” don’t they? I’ll be the first to admit that my words were always louder than my actions, always. I’ve disappointed a lot of people in my life as I’ve been disappointed just the same. There came a time during this journey of mine where I was reminded of this old saying and it sure has been engrained in my head ever since. I’ve made a very diligent effort to remind myself of this every day when I encounter anyone and make sure if I say something that I actually mean it and I’m prepared to walk just like I talk. Which is the prime example of why I speak even less now, why open my mouth if I don’t mean what I say or have no intentions of walking that talk? I would rather just be quiet and watch all the talking going on around me since the walking seems to be vacant.
What ever happened to taking a man for his word? Remember that concept from long ago? Man I do! I think it has fallen to the wayside because society has become so loud that we don’t notice the lack of actions over the noise of all the talking. It’s quite loud out there.
I will admit in my own life and my own realizations it is so much easier to just talk. It pacifies actually having to take any action for ourselves, for a little while anyway, it will catch up to us and that’s a guarantee. Somewhere for me it became more of just something so that I just didn’t have to deal with my own bullshit inside myself. Not dealing with all the conflict I had going on inside myself was easily pushed aside by just saying I need to do this and then all will be fine. I was great at announcing what I would be doing to those that wanted to listen. But I wouldn’t do what it was I said I need to do. I wondered for a really long time why I would be like this, why should I look at my own actions and actually fix them versus just saying I will. I remember once in my many adventures with a counselor and I’ve seen quite a few throughout the years, I was told once by the very first one I’d seen, some really good advice that I’ve slowly integrated into my life. She told me for everything that happens to me whether good or bad I need to take a step back and ask myself “what is my part in this, what was it that I did to get to this point?” I have to admit this is a very hard thing to ask yourself because it requires one to look hard at themselves and really take some accountability for their actions and reactions to everything around them. This requires an immense amount of vulnerability on our part and it’s hard to be vulnerable in an age where feelings are constantly invalidated and blaming others is the norm.
Back to the reason for my blog, actions. Actions speak louder than words. Can we bring this back? How can we as a society start implementing this concept again? It must start with ourselves. We must come to a point where if we want any kind of respect or any kind of position of greatness in our own lives we must do what we say we are going to do. As hard as it is in a world where most don’t even notice effort anymore. Some of us may never talk again and some of us may just talk less but we must do something. There are enough used car salesmen in this world, let’s bring back respect for ourselves and start taking some accountability in what we say and do and work harder to make sure our actions match our words. I seriously wonder what would happen if integrity, morals and respect were brought back into existence. I wonder what would happen if we all made a conscious effort to make sure we did whatever it is we said we were going to do instead of just pacifying whatever it is we are running from inside ourselves, as scary as that is.
By all means I am just a person who is going through major life changes and a great awakening who likes to jot my thoughts down out here for all to read. I am no expert but I am aware of myself and my part in this world and I seriously wonder what happened to all of us. Why are we so quick to just dismiss everything and everyone without taking responsibility for what we ourselves do or don’t do?
If you find my thoughts interesting please feel free to comment, like and share. I appreciate every one of you!
Rock on my beautiful ones.
My Life, My Story 