To continue on with my current state we are going to need some history on this lump I have so other women will know what to look for with themselves so they don’t have to go through this like I am.
Last August I thought I broke a tooth after feeling a nice sharp groove in one of my molars. A couple weeks after this happened I started feeling a little ill, like I may be catching a cold. My glands around my throat became a little swollen and my nose was stuffy but didn’t progress any further. Looking back I may have felt a little achy in my teeth but brushed it off because I wasn’t feeling like it was an actual sinus infection.
In October 2025, I noticed my breasts hurt a considerable amount around the time I was supposed to start my period. They had been doing that for the previous two years after I’d missed a period causing me to think I was starting the menopause process since I was 49 at the time of the missed period. I even went to a doctor who dismissed the missed period as the beginning of perimenopause. For two years my breasts would swell and get heavy and hurt right before my period and then settle down after. Last October they were excruciatingly painful and the pain did not subside after, in fact I woke up one day and they were lumpy and tender and it felt like my milk had just came in. I googled my symptoms and found fibro cystic breast disease and looked at many pictures and could feel that in my breasts and dismissed it as that. The lumps went away except for one very large one in my right breast. We are talking 2×2 inches, the only thing that was different was the pain did not go away after I started, it stuck around and was a constant in my life.
In November 2025, I was starting to be a little concerned because I now have a lump in my right arm pit but I kept it to myself and put it in the back of my mind where it played on a loop. It seems like something this serious would be easy for me to talk about with the important people in my life but in our family we didn’t do things like that. My side of the family are under the rug sweepers and if anyone did try to share their feelings they were reminded they didn’t have any. In my gut I knew at this point what was going on and I needed to figure out my life asap and also figure out a way to share my deep concerns with my husband, who had gone through therapy with me so we could communicate better. This little endeavor was showing me my childhood trauma runs so deep even a potential life or death situation can’t bring me the courage to communicate with my husband. This concerned me and I realized this needs addressed sooner rather than later.
The barn I was working at was closing and they were kind enough to take me with them to their new place but my gut continually told me that wasn’t my path. I knew it wasn’t, I have nothing to leave as a legacy, I’m not even close to being the person I picture myself to be. I can’t go work for another barn and let my dream of changing the horse community die with me so I prayed and thought and dug deep about things I could do that I could leave as my legacy. Something that I could be successful at while making a difference and be able to leave to my children so they’ll always have something to fall back on if they should ever need it.
This is probably a good place to end this one, check out Chapter 3 to find out more.
Here’s a link to Chapter 3. https://guyslittlesister.com/2026/03/01/what-legacy-chapter-3/#more-4257
My Life, My Story 
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