My therapist keeps reminding me I need to document my journey in greater detail as it’s so fascinating and she enjoys hearing all my health updates. I suppose she’s right and I really should share my physical health updates more in conjunction with my mental health sessions as they are definitely connected. This week we traced back my health history patterns and were able to follow the path from childhood to today with the Epstein Barr virus.
I struggle to share for a few reasons that are mostly related to my lack of public speaking skills and fear, fear of rejection. I’m not sure why I would let the fear of rejection stop me from sharing the details of my experience, I’ve been rejected by more people in my life than I’ve been accepted so why should this bother me? I ask myself that every day when I think about making a video. I’m going to continue working on finding the courage to start filming my journey.
I’ve finished my 10 weeks of IV Ozone and am almost halfway through the protocol for clearing the mold from my body. Once I’m done with the protocol for the mold detox I’ll have another thermogram to check the inflammation in my body have another round of labs. I am still doing the Joe Tippens protocol for treatment of the C-monster, I am really impressed with how much better I feel. I honestly didn’t realize I felt as bad as I did until I started this treatment and I really had no idea I could feel this good.
When I started this documentary of my healing I mentioned a few things back in chapter 1 or 2. I mentioned in the span of 4 days I was told I had cancer, my dad died and one of my children was arrested, and I had neglected my bodies warning signs for years.
What I didn’t mention was the fact that while I was trying to make sense of what was going on with me, our family was facing another crisis. Right around the same time I was denying my issues my husband’s only child was diagnosed with something called Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension and was given a short amount of time to live. It has to do with getting the oxygenated blood to her lungs, I better find a link for explaining what it is. https://www.pahinitiative.com/what-is-pah
It’s truly heartbreaking watching him try to be strong and take care of things. It’s hard to share my story when he has all this to deal with. He is such a wonderful man with such a beautiful soul and definitely didn’t deserve to have the two people he loves the most battling for their lives at the same time.
He’s been helping me with my finances while I’ve been having treatments and he’s also been paying her treatments and it’s overwhelming. I’ve gotten my care down to about $500 a month and that’s helped so much for us. His child is just beginning her treatments and we are looking at 25-50k to help her be more comfortable and prolong her life as her condition is deemed terminal. He should be spending his free time with his child instead of worrying about how he’s going to financially support both of us.
I started a go fund me and have started asking for help so we can do everything we can to keep her around as long as we can. I’ll be adding the link to it in all my future posts and videos and if you can spare even a little bit it would help immensely. https://gofund.me/d4363f019
I am also trying to organize some fundraisers in our area to help cover some of the costs associated with her treatments. It hurts my heart knowing that he’s going through this. It’s not fair, it makes me angry, it makes me sad.
I’ve never set up a fundraiser before, I’ve always been the one hiding in the back trying hard not to be seen and now I’m trying to step out and spread the word about life and ask for help and it’s excruciatingly difficult.
I keep praying the link will get shared, I keep praying people will donate, I keep praying that they were wrong about her heart, I keep praying she’s going to heal, I keep praying the help arrives.
When people see me out and about in the horse community very few of them know the extent of what I carry. I’m not one to try to get attention and it’s beyond difficult to even ask for help. My childhood trauma has taught me help isn’t coming, it never did, it never has and my current situation confirms it. Hell, my husband and I had to hire an attorney because my uncle decided I wasn’t worthy of my inheritance and kept it for himself. I wouldn’t be out here begging for some kind of help if he’d honor what my dad’s will states.
Can you imagine keeping someone’s inheritance because you didn’t think they deserved it? Leaving me everything was the only way my dad knew how to say he was sorry for abandoning me and my brother and it was stolen from me by someone who doesn’t even know me.
The world is full of awful people, people who are selfish, entitled, manipulative, people who purposely go out of their way to make others miserable. Lord knows I’ve met a lot of them. The world is also full of wonderful people who go out of their way to help others without any expectations. It’s up to us to decide which one we want to be.
Again, as always, I am grateful for those who read my story, for those who share my content and for those who support me.
I am grateful to everyone who has donated to our cause, for those who have shared it, for those who’ve helped it. If you’d like to help here it is https://gofund.me/c3015da55
My Life, My Story 
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