As an adult child of toxic parents, the best advice I could give another person would be to look at others as they are, not how you wish they would be.
As children we tend to put our parents on pedestals and dismiss every toxic behavior they have, because we are taught at an early age these people are supposed to love and protect us. Sadly, our parents and family members are usually our first bullies, teaching us that those who love us are supposed to hurt us.
Those children who were bullied or ignored by the ones who were supposed to love and care for them end up jumping into toxic relationships without being able to recognize the toxicity.
In the case of my own life, I was unable to see my parents as the people they truly were because I was stuck in my own head, blinded by their toxicity. At one point in my life I could not fathom that my mom was capable of hurting me, nor my dad. It hurt immensely when I realized not only was I hurt by my mother but my own dad knew she hurt my brother and I and he chose to ignore it. I was able to get confirmation of things she actually did to my brother that I witnessed as a child and yet somehow none of these things were either of my parents fault. None of the things I’ve remembered happening to my brother and I have been acknowledged as anything other than our own fault and we somehow deserved it.
Parents are supposed to show love, acceptance, support, honesty, encouragement and all things positive to help their children see that they always have a cheering section that can be helpful, so they always know they are loved, so they know they have someone on their side they can count on. It’s a fundamental requirement to have a successful relationship with anyone as an adult.
It no longer matters who we are to other people, it only matters how we treat each other.
My Life, My Story 
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