Maybe it is You

With the state of the world right maybe it’s time to do a little self reflection and make sure all the anger we are throwing out into the world is not really our own insecurities being projected onto others. I have found through my own healing and my own journey of self reflection that sometimes it is actually me that is the one that needs to check myself.

While I am scrolling on the ole social medias like most of us do throughout the day I see many of us verbally attacking each other for no apparent reason. I am a firm believer that there’s always a reason behind someones behavior and we’ve actually been taught to believe we aren’t the problem, it’s every body else’s issue. In a way that is absolutely true! Sometimes it is the other person that is causing a misalignment with ourselves, sometimes we surround ourselves with such toxic people that we become toxic ourselves. Sometimes we want to be liked and admired by others so much that we forget to take a look at our own behaviors and verify that we aren’t actually causing harm to those we say we love.

Next time you find yourself getting angry, frustrated and resentful towards others it’s time to stop and take a look at yourself instead of blaming someone else for the way you feel. We can only feel the way we allow ourselves to feel but for some reason there are millions of people out there who think the way they feel is due to someone else’s behavior and feeling angry is easily justified by blaming someone else.

Have I lost you yet? I usually lose people when I turn the focus from others to ourselves, for some reason it’s extremely hard for a lot of us to take a look at our own behavior. I denied my own behavior for years and years and years!! I was quick to blame someone else for the shitty way I treated people when in reality it was ME treating people like shit. No one twisted my arm to force me to be a bitch. No one held a gun to my head and told me to lash out to others because I was frustrated with my own choices in life. We treat others the way we feel about ourselves. It’s that simple!

If you are someone who feels they’ve been dealt a real shitty hand in life you have two choices, fold in the hand or play it to the best of your ability. If your ability isn’t very good then figure out how to make it better. We are programmed to learn and to keep learning but we get so distracted by the very things they want us to get distracted by, television, social media, keeping up with the Jones’s, buying things, working endless hours, not sleeping enough, not eating properly oh my the list goes on and on!

It’s easy to sit at the park or any where there are people gathered and start picking them apart just from their looks, the clothes they are wearing or the car they drive. What we tend to forget to do is remember everyone has a story and everyone is the way they are for a reason. I think what most of us struggle with is why WE are the way WE are. Do you have any idea why you make unkind statements about others? Most of us learn from watching others. It’s truly that simple. When we are children we are like little sponges soaking up all the knowledge we are exposed to and as we grow and soak up more we start imitating all that we’ve been shown from the people we are closest to.

The children who grow up with nothing but criticism of others around them end up becoming adults who condemn all that aren’t like them. The children who grow up surrounded by judgement and hatred grow up to become just that, judgemental and full of hate for others and most of them do not even know why they judge and hate so much, a lot of these same children grow up to hate themselves as well.

Somewhere in life we need to be shown what it means to be kind to others, we need to be shown that we are all the same on the inside and we all have the capability to grow, learn and change. Somewhere along the way of life we have neglected to teach about self reflection. Self reflection is the process of taking a look at our own selves and making sure we are being our true authentic selves or if we are just projecting our programming out in to the world.

Would you like some tips on how to start self reflecting? Sometimes tips are helpful because we don’t know where to start or we don’t know if we need to self reflect. Well, we ALL need to self reflect! It’s easier to start self reflecting if we have a pretty good idea of who we actually are outside of our conditioning. Unfortunately this is where most of us need to start. Most people don’t know who they are!

Here are a few questions to ask yourself if you are curious if you need to start reflecting on yourself.

Am I happy? Do I know what it means to be happy?

When am I happiest?

When am I the saddest? Am I sad more than I am not?

How many hours a day do I spend in front of the television? Phone? Computer?

Have my “friends” stopped talking to me or taken a step back from our friendship?

Do I pay attention to the things I say to others?

Do I think about the things I say before I say them or do I just spew them out?

My gosh those were random questions! There really isn’t a formula or quiz to find out if we should be self reflecting. WE SHOULD BE SELF REFLECTING!!!!

I am not a professional by all means, what I am though is someone who has and continues to dissect my thoughts and feelings and am constantly trying to figure out the “whys” in my own world while doing my part to show the world what it means to be authentically myself without shitting on others. I do not think it would cause a single piece of damage to me to look at myself in the mirror unless I allowed that damage to happen. Damage happens when we don’t know who we are. I am continuously learning about myself and I actually like myself and am finding the need for others to like me is less and less because I find the more I am around people who know and like who they are the more accepting of me they are. It’s a crazy concept to realize most people who hate on others are actually people who are extremely miserable with their own lives.

What do you think? Am I crazy for thinking we should be looking at ourselves instead of others? Let me know what you think by commenting, sharing this post or follow me for more crazy thoughts that go through my head! Rock on my pretties!