I think about writing nearly every day but I don’t make the time to do it until Sundays when I lay in bed as long as I am able to. Sundays are my only day off during the week and I absolutely try to stay in bed until I feel the need to get up or have made plans, which is rare. Sundays are the only days I have to myself and I try to take full advantage of them even if I use them to be what the world calls “lazy”. It’s my free time to write, read or sleep if I feel the need to.
I’ve been plugging along with my healing and am still learning all that I can about healing my immune system so it can heal my body. I’m learning so much about how we are gaslit to believe we can’t heal ourselves even though that’s how we were created. I giggle at myself because I had not made the connection with humans as I had with horses, I’ve known they were designed to heal themselves but somehow thought we were different. The more I learn about humans the more I am able to connect the similarities to horses even more so, we really aren’t that different.
Something I’ve been thinking about lately is how many people give unsolicited advice with good intentions and how it’s truly unnecessary. I’ve been so guilty of this myself and this whole health issue I have going on has been really eye opening for me and has truly helped me see that the advice people give with no personal experience is just another way to gaslight others out of fear.
I can honestly say that we can “talk” all we want about “what we would do if we were in your position” but until we really are in that position our “talking” doesn’t mean shit. Going through this personally has been really difficult as far as talking to others about it, I’m either met with pushback because I’m not getting traditional therapy or I get encouragement for doing it on my own. I’ve also gotten what seems like doubt that I am even sick because I’m still working, I have more energy than I did before all this and I don’t try to advertise what I have going on. I think people have either forgotten the power of our words and thoughts or they never understood just how powerful our words and thoughts are.
I used to think I was awake and keen to all the conspiracy theories until I was right in the middle of it. I used to think I knew the medical profession was corrupted until this and I ended up in the next level of conspiracy and I was a medical billing professional for almost 20 years so I had experience with the scam of the industry. I just learned the other day there are blood tests that can be taken to determine which type of cells you’re carrying. Inexpensive blood tests, compared to mammograms, ultrasounds and biopsies, there are even blood tests to determine which type of chemotherapy would work best for those other blood tests. Those inexpensive blood tests aren’t offered because lab work has never been a big money maker in the industry compared to the costs of the tests they wanted to perform on me. My mammogram and ultrasound were $500, then they immediately wanted to do a biopsy the very next day which was quoted to me at $3900 to be paid in full before it would be done, when a blood test could have been done instead. I’ve had neither done so far as I really don’t need confirmation that there is something amiss with me, that’s obvious, but what’s upsetting about this is that no one has yet to ask me in depth about my lifestyle, eating habits or trauma history, all of which must be addressed in order for my body to start healing.
All of this has really helped me see the depth of programming that has been done to humans and the more I learn the more corruption I find. On another note though, the more I learn, the more confident I feel when it comes to standing up for myself and what I want for my health. Sometimes I think we forget how much power we actually have within ourselves and that we are the ones who are in control of our destiny.
There is so much power within our minds and our thoughts and it’s time we started believing in ourselves and work towards drowning out the noise that is constantly being generated to keep us scared. I stood up for myself while I was sitting in the clinic while they (a radiologist, a person who isn’t even my doctor) told me I had cancer, then told me what my treatment plan was and never once asked me how I felt about any of it. They TOLD me what I was going to do without ever once asking me a single question about me and my life. It was terrifying at the time and now that it’s over I am angry about it. I am angry for the thousands of people that this happens to every day who think they have no other option. I had a mammogram and then an ultrasound when I didn’t need a mammogram in the first place because the ultrasound would have shown exactly what the mammogram did except an ultrasound shows it even better.
I went to the doctor in hopes of getting a different perspective considering I chose a functional medicine doctor and even she didn’t like the fact that I took my health into my own hands and did not recommend the path I chose and I was fully prepared to handle this all on my own until she called me the other day to let me know she’s been researching my treatment protocol and would like to help me.
I’ve always had a hard time standing up for myself because my brother always did it for me but this experience has helped me open the door to strength I didn’t know I had. I have fought my whole life to stay alive when I thought I’d be better off dead, I have thought about and planned suicide more than I’ll ever admit, I’m a part of a family who abandoned me emotionally and physically for not complying with their beliefs. For some it’s easier to just fall in line and go along with whatever they want, for me it leaves me empty inside and I can’t help but feel that isn’t my place in life.
I could go all day about this so let’s get an update on how my symptoms are going and wrap this chapter up before I really start ranting.
I am still having a juice or two every day, they are a bit expensive to have multiple times a day because my hubby and I are the ones funding my treatments, except for the couple of you who send me medication, I’m so grateful for you. I am going through about 15 pounds of apples a week and 20 pounds of carrots and need more if anyone wants to help out I am absolutely taking donations of any kind.
I’m at a steady dose of ivermectin and fenbendazole and have just added another parasitic yesterday. I’m going to be looking at a mold detox as there’s a big chance of mold toxicity that could be affecting me but I’ll discuss that with my doctor next week before I look too much into that. The lump in my armpit is significantly smaller, I almost couldn’t find it this morning it’s shrank so much and the one in my breast is shrinking as well just a little bit slower. I do Castor Oil packs on my liver and breast and use it as a facial moisturizer.
I need to focus more on making sure what I’m eating is actually nutritious and healthy and feed my body accordingly so my immune system can function better, so that’s been my main goal. I’ve lost some weight that I didn’t have available to lose but am holding steady and haven’t lost anymore. My skin has cleared up and I used to have eye floaters that I’m not noticing anymore, I actually think my eye sight is improving or could be as I’m able to drive in the dark when I had stopped for a couple years. I feel better than I have for a very long time.
There’s this week’s update, I’m grateful to those of you who read these posts of mine. I’m glad you’re here, I hope I have given you something to reflect on. Always remember, this is your life and you’re the boss of it and I’m here for you if you need a push.
Rock on my pretties!
See you next time.
Am I supposed to have a disclaimer in my posts? If so here it is. I’m not a health professional, I’m a person sharing my own experiences. I’m not telling you what to do with your life, I’m sharing what I am doing with mine.
My Life, My Story 
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