My goodness, where do I go from here? I canceled my biopsy and decided to take my health back and honestly I’m feeling really good about that decision. I decided to take a nutritional approach for part of my healing and also a therapeutic approach and am also seeing a therapist to heal from my childhood where I am learning most, if not all of my issues are coming from my upbringing.
Speaking of upbringing, my dad’s funeral is coming up, I’ve had several friends ask me if I’m going to go and I’m really not sure. I had always planned on going but now that I’ve learned some more things about my dad I am second guessing whether I should or not. It’s not until the end of the month so I still have time to think about it. When his funeral is over and my life has gotten back to normal I’ll start writing more about my life with him.
My child who was arrested had his arraignment and was bonded out by his father, he has a list of pre trial conditions that he has to follow before his pretrial scheduled in April. I was really hoping this charge would cause him to open his eyes and realize what he’s been doing and why some of us had to walk away but it sounds like it didn’t faze him one bit. It is looking like he could be facing 20 years in a federal prison, I don’t believe there is a federal prison in Idaho, I think the closest one is in Colorado, which is scary to think about.
I never thought my life would turn out like this, my brother and I had dreams of our dad being different when he was older, more of a father type but sadly he stayed the same man I always knew.
I never thought one of my children would turn out to be, not only a felon, but to go above and beyond and get federal charges. That’s big time criminal activity and I’m not sure if I should be proud or sad about this, it’s a little of both. I’m truly sad that part of my child’s decline was my lack of confidence in myself that I let someone else be the main person in his life when it was precious and impressionable. The way his life has turned out is a perfect example of our generational trauma continuing through our family tree and a reminder of realizing while I thought I was parenting differently than my own parents it was actually the same. I pray for the day he can heal and connect with the part of the family who wanted him to win.
I sure as hell did not think I’d be fighting the dis-ease of my body this early in life, let alone while there are major things happening around me. It’s been such a learning experience and I still feel this is the right way to handle this. It’s been interesting with the therapist learning how my childhood has played a role in my health decline, and how all the little conspiracy theories and how they say the truth is out there, have connected a lot of dots for me.
Even though my brother and I were neglected and abandoned by our parents we still learned some pretty valuable lessons that have helped me more than harmed me. For instance, we didn’t go to the doctor a lot, we were always told we couldn’t afford it so it had to be an emergency or we weren’t going, and we treated a lot of illnesses ourselves and I carried that into adulthood. Once I started working on the billing and coding aspect of the medical field I started questioning and one time I defied a few doctors by not taking their advice and still haven’t done what they predicted due to my defiance. Having this background, in my eyes has helped me decide to treat this myself versus getting traditional therapy. Every day I take some supplements and juice 5-10 pounds of apples and carrots and I feel better and better every day. It’s absolutely incredible to me, I’ve even found a few people locally who have done the same thing and have healed their cancer.
I’ve been reading a lot about what causes cancer and it’s been really interesting and helpful in my healing. It’s been easier to stay calm about it by learning about it. I have a lot of confidence that this is something I can fix myself and wish I could help others but I can only help myself and share my story.
Stay tuned for more.
My Life, My Story 
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