Karma

Karma

As I sit here on this beautiful Sunday evening I have been reflecting on all the good I have going on in my life. My oldest child married his best friend last Friday, both of my other children are moving in with me (One is already here the other is coming within a week) and I haven’t had them close to me in ten years, I started a new job where I enjoy the work I do and my relationship has done nothing but get better and better each day. I can honestly say my life is pretty damn great.

I can’t even begin to explain all the good things that have happened to me this year, all things I have wanted for years and years some longer than others, some things I am still wanting but because I have gotten so many things I have asked the Universe for I have no doubts the rest will come.

I’ve been sitting here dissecting how I could have finally gotten all the things I’ve been working so hard for and all I can really think of is my thoughts are to blame. Somewhere a couple years ago I make a point to myself to purposely be aware of the thoughts I had, because once I became aware of my thoughts it was so much easier to control what came out of my mouth as far as being kinder and not so mean. I use the word mean because I can be pretty damn mean when I need to be but I try very diligently to be kind, always.

Thinking bad thoughts of others has gotten me nowhere anytime I ever had them. Being jealous and concerned what others are doing and achieving have gotten me no where in life and honestly has gotten no one anywhere in life. It really just does not pay in any way shape or form to be unkind to anyone regardless of the situation. I’m not saying I still don’t have those thoughts. Of course I still have jealousy issues and mistrust issues, in fact I’m sure I still have a lot of the issues I had before that caused me to go on this journey I am on.

I suppose I just handle my issues differently now, I am aware of them a lot more than I used to be because I’ve spent some time alone with my thoughts learning them and learning myself I guess is a good explanation. I’ve realized it really hasn’t paid off for me to be mean. It hasn’t paid to put others down, it hasn’t paid to complain about others in the world, it hasn’t paid to be the downer I used to be. Being negative will NEVER make for a POSITIVE life.

It took me so long to realize that, but to me there just is no limit on learning. It doesn’t matter how old I get I will always be able to learn because I want to. There is no age where it’s deemed too late to learn, or too late to change. There just isn’t. It’s all a matter of being open to change and being aware of our thoughts before things just come blurting out of our mouths.

My lesson on this Sunday is to just be kind. We all have shit, and we are all going through some kind of shit. None is worse than others. Life is not a competition, we all have our own shit that we are trying to deal with. Every single one of us have our own fears, our own insecurities and our own “things” that we are trying so hard to survive. It literally does not pay to be unkind in any way to any one. It does no good to put anyone down in any way shape or form no matter how much we dislike them. It all comes back to us. We must be the change we want to see in the world. If we think the world is unkind then be that one person that is kind to everyone.

Karma actually works both ways but sometimes we forget because the world is so negative.

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Just Go For It

Just Go For It

Life has gotten so insanely different for me than it used to be! I think it has had so many drastic changes in it that I don’t even know if I could ever really be the person that I was 5 years ago let alone 2 years ago!

When I started doing all this work on myself it was for one purpose only. To get my relationship back. Definitely had tunnel vision going with that purpose as I usually do when I am passionate about something. I think it is an INFJ thing but could be just an OCD thing, I don’t entirely know but I do know the last 2 1/2 years of my life has been an absolute whirlwind of breakthroughs and really great things.

I can write for days and add 15 different stories into this one blog, so I will try really hard to stay on the subject at hand and keep my storytelling to a bare minimum. No promises though. Ha ha ha! INFJ’s have no short version of anything.

My point for writing today is to tell you all to just go for it. All those things that you dream of doing or being? Just do them! I know it sounds so simple and easy! Trust me I know it is not that simple and it’s definitely not easy. At least it wasn’t for me. But I think, for myself, the tunnel vision I had for fixing my relationship kept me going and focused on continuing to do the work needed, because I was willing to do WHATEVER work was needed to get my relationship back.

I was/am one of those that have huge dreams and plans and I want to do them ALL at once and miraculously change my life in just one day. Fortunately for me, had I not gone on this adventure I would have never learned that our lives just cannot change immediately and I have learned from my own experience, I just CANNOT change my life all in one day. I fail every time! I think it took this little journey I am on to finally make me realize that I couldn’t just change my life the exact moment I decided to. It’s actually taken 28 months and counting.

I say “and counting” because I’ve come to realize that our lives are ALWAYS changing. They really are, some of us want to stay the same and some of us want different lives for ourselves. But when we sit and think about it nothing ever stays the same. Nothing. So we can either choose to embrace the changes or we can choose to stay stuck in our little mental ruts that we get into because our lives aren’t going exactly the way we want them to.

I found this little quote a while ago and it really resonates with where I am currently in my life. “If you are always looking for yellow cars you will always see yellow cars.” I placed it below because it really is a great quote.

What do you focus on?

The horrible things the news shows us all day long? The negativity that is on social media all day long? The Toxic Tammy that you work with? The spouse that doesn’t listen to you? Do you focus on your spouse/partner leaving you? Spend some time thinking about this. Sit for an hour or longer and actually listen to the things going through your head, write them down. I challenge you to put them on paper and actually read them, look at them, be honest about it to yourself.

Life really isn’t as hard as we make it out to be. It really isn’t. Thoughts are an extremely powerful force and I promise you if you continuously think bad thoughts, the outcome will be just as you thought it would be. Now with that said….. the opposite is also true!! If we consistently think good thoughts and good outcomes we will actually get them. We really will. It may not happen immediately (this is the kicker) but it WILL happen, I want to promise you this outcome but even if I promise you good will happen to you, if you truly do not believe it will happen, it won’t and then you’ll call me a liar. If you continue to find faults in every single thing that is presented to you, in the rut is where you’ll stay stuck. I do promise that.

So what is keeping you from achieving your dreams? Money? Or your lack of effort to put in the work to get the money? The time you say you don’t have because you spend 5 hours a day on social media telling everyone how to live their lives? I’ve learned there is no magic button in life. There is no one that is going to save you and make your life better, you must do the work yourself. I can promise you the work is very hard and very, very worth it!!

I am no professional, nor am I any kind of expert. I just know my own story and what does and doesn’t work for me personally. If I can help someone else achieve their dreams then I’ve done what I came here to do. Rock on my pretties!

P.S. I got that relationship back and it’s even better. Why? We are doing the work. Both of us.

Focus

Focus

We live the life we want to live. We make the effort to have the things we want to have or we don’t have them. We either complain about everything we don’t have or we are grateful for the things we do have. We all have a mental list of priorities for ourselves that we don’t really talk about but our lives revolve around that list of priorities….

My priorities are to have a healthy mentality instead of a toxic one. So if I have suddenly stopped talking to anyone or slowly stepped away from those that I used to keep in constant contact with it could be because maintaining a connection isn’t one of my priorities any more. It could mean that somehow my connection to you is detrimental to my mental health. It is nothing personal against anyone but my mental health and my life is most important to me and if that is something that is hard to understand then that right there tells me that my decision to walk away was the best decision I could make for myself.

One day it will be understood when you are faced with the same decision. Not until it happens to you will you fully understand why some people do the things they do. Until it happens all you can say is that you do get it but in reality you don’t get it and will not get it until it happens to you. I would rather not hear anything about anything in my life until you have experienced the exact same things in your life.

We are all just winging it, why go around and tell other people how to live when you yourself have no idea what is going on in your own life. Change your focus to you and only you, what is going on inside you and why you feel that way as it pertains to you and go from there, only with you. We are not put on this earth to go around telling others what they do are wrong and they should do it this way because in all actuality we don’t really know what we are doing ourselves.